So here we are .. it’s the 5th September… my big anniversary. The see-saw of life is even. Half of my life time spent in CZ and the other half in the U.K.
Am I still Czech or am I now British or am I no longer the former and not yet the latter…
After 21 long hours on a coach with one small suitcase, I got off at Victoria coach station at 5.30am. I only came for 6 months, but from 6 became 12, from 12 to 2 years, and the rest is history …
Years ago I read White Teeth from Sadie Smith for my social studies university course. It is based on people’s origins and how they assimilate into different cultures and go about dealing (or not) with their national identity and belonging in this multicultural world. In my mind I still return to the characters described in this book today.
When I arrived in England, I was just a kid trying to make ends meet back then, doing odd jobs for under the minimum wage from cleaning, ironing to waitressing, all the while trying to learn this beautiful language I knew from songs and BBC news broadcasts. Fast forward 20 years and I have a pretty decent career, life made up for myself yet questioning my own identity … can I be both? Is it allowed – can I just cherry-pick the things I like from each culture or am I just plain confused?
Once upon a time I thought I had it very clear in my mind that I would never return back to CZ. It’s just a short hop on a plane anyway… but lately it’s been on my mind. It could just be a good old fashioned nostalgia. We tend to see the distant past with rose-tinted glasses and forget the hard facts. The truth is that the country I left back then is no longer there. It grew back on its feet, I see prosperity, hope and most importantly future for the youngsters where once was nothing but dead end jobs with no future to speak of – and that was the better prospect. But nowadays where the U.K. is just about getting on the property ladder, be debt ridden, achieving hard job deadlines, in CZ the focus is still on quality of family life – I have no doubt that sooner or later the consumerism and capitalist way of living will fully take over, but for now the pace is still slower. Families, communities and local traditions which are hardly present in the U.K. are still strongly kept with national pride. I truly hope this won’t disappear.
Czechs can be one of the warmest and most welcoming people you’ll ever get to know, but you better watch out if you’re not part of their clan. Customer service? Forget that… find your own seat in a restaurant! Where the Brits are all ‘fine and alright’, we moan no end and envy everything and everyone, nothing’s good. It’s the little sibling or poor neighbour syndrome from being an occupied country, always the underdog and being taken advantage of. Then there’s racism … where the U.K. has gone outright PC crazy, open derogatory comments about other nationality is fairly common in CZ. It is still primarily Czech as there is massive resistance to immigration. Although good luck to any immigrant who actually attempts to learn my language!
We are blunt. I’ve been called that many times by my British colleagues. But give me blunt truth over the omnipresent and often two-faced ‘how are you’s’ and ‘I’m fine’s’.
The Brits I got to know are the most generous and genuine people wanting you to do your best. (As long as you don’t try to commute in rush hour!) I feel that England has given me a fair shot at building my own future. UK is a platform – you want to better yourself, you work hard and you will get there no matter what your starting point may be. British sarcasm and humour has no rival in my opinion.
You see my predicament, I wouldn’t know how to open a bank account in CZ, I forget the odd Czech word and I pepper my English with a Czech swear words to an utter amusement of my British family, friends and colleagues.
I’m more like an ‘olives, goat cheese and seafood’ type of person just to add a whole new dimension to my belonging (family origins traced to France and Italy 1750) – there’s an explanation for loving the sunny skies so much.
So being at the tipping point of my imaginary sea-saw, the truth is I’m just as much Czech as I’m British – by birth or not, both cultures played an important part in helping me grow into the person I am today.
I might not be the ‘knedliky’ & ‘pork sour kraut’ food lover and I won’t drink English tea with milk or watch TOWIE and will always leave out some articles in my sentences, but I will proudly represent both nationalities.
But… engraved on my grave stone will be: She was forever Moravian where the sun shines and vineyards grow.
Eyes On The Cloud 